Closing Time

January 13th, 2019

Fuck(in) desperation and fear of loss;
this is not your proudest moment
(but it's all you have)
Remember the long days and nights
He spent playing with your hair
And all the anger, the sorrow
All melds into one and the pain,
Oh the pain feels rapturous as you die
Just to feel a little before it's all over,
It's all gone, when the feelings,
The memories rot and stagnate
And stink like an old body
That you keep in your closet
Because you can't bear to lose
The one thing you really ever thought you had
And now his body might as well be a stranger's;
Perhaps it is, you don't know;
You close your eyes to fight the tears
But they'll come back to you on quiet nights
When you are all alone
And there is no one to hold you;
And your ears fill with silence
And your toes curl one last time
And it is irrevocably, unmistakably over
And now you wait for the magnitude of separation
To bowl you over like the last pin
On a lonely lane at closing time
But it never comes and you are left standing
And the pain of solitude will linger
Long after the doors have been locked to you
And the lights which burned so bright
Have been extinguished,
And the weight of uncertainty weighs upon your heart
Heavier than his body ever could have.